Chakra Meditation Pendant
I'm thinking a lot about self-care and self-kindness in the new year. For the past few weeks, I've been using meditation as a tool for coping with and releasing some negative emotions and anxiety. You see, I have not been feeling good physically and most important of all, I have not been good to myself emotionally. In fact, come to find out, I've been inner trash talking to a point that shocked me when I recently became aware of it.
For the past few months, I've been feeling a little lost about where to put my time and energy. I've been struggling with whether to focus on growing my jewelry-making career such as, selling jewelry, teaching classes, working on more publications, blogging, and networking or to focus more on family and home life such as, fixing up my house, decorating, organizing, cleaning, cooking, doing more for my daughter, Nora, and generally making life more pleasant and comfortable for me and my family. Up until now, I've been an all or nothing kind of gal. I pick one thing and focus on that with a one-track mind. So, for me, integrating all of these things into one life is difficult for me to grasp, to say the least.
The following is the inner trash-talk dialogue that went on:
"You really should be able to do both but, unfortunately for you, you can't multitask. Ha! You've never been able to. You used to be able to get away with it before you had Nora, but now, your slowness and total lack of any kind of time management skills is completely exposed. Maybe if you were someone else you could do it, but there's no way YOU could keep all those balls in the air. Why can't you seem to get it together enough to get more done in your day? If you were a good mother, you'd be feeding Nora better meals that this, too. If you were competent, you'd be able to make jewelry and keep the house clean. You'd be absolutely mortified if someone walked in and saw this house in the state it's in right now. This is disgraceful...."
And on it goes...I've said this and much, much more to myself many, many times over the months. I would never, ever, ever in a million years, talk to someone like that. I wouldn't dream of treating someone else like that...EVER. So, why on earth am I doing it to myself??? Crazy, isn't it? Well, needless to say, I won't be doing it anymore, I will try anyway. I think it will be a process, but at least I'm more aware. Awareness is the key. It is the first step. You can't very well change something until you become conscious of it first.
Listen to that inner voice, BUT please, make sure it's a KIND voice.
Thank you.
I made myself this Chakra pendant inspired by my meditation practices.
