Thursday, January 5, 2012

Let's Be Kind to Ourselves, Please.

Chakra Meditation Pendant

I'm thinking a lot about self-care and self-kindness in the new year. For the past few weeks, I've been using meditation as a tool for coping with and releasing some negative emotions and anxiety. You see, I have not been feeling good physically and most important of all, I have not been good to myself emotionally. In fact, come to find out, I've been inner trash talking to a point that shocked me when I recently became aware of it. 
 For the past few months, I've been feeling a little lost about where to put my time and energy. I've been struggling with whether to focus on growing my jewelry-making career such as, selling jewelry, teaching classes, working on more publications, blogging, and networking or to focus more on family and home life such as, fixing up my house, decorating, organizing, cleaning, cooking, doing more for my daughter, Nora, and generally making life more pleasant and comfortable for me and my family. Up until now, I've been an all or nothing kind of gal. I pick one thing and focus on that with a one-track mind. So, for me, integrating all of these things into one life is difficult for me to grasp, to say the least.

The following is the inner trash-talk dialogue that went on:
"You really should be able to do both but, unfortunately for you, you can't multitask. Ha! You've never been able to. You used to be able to get away with it before you had Nora, but now, your slowness and total lack of any kind of time management skills is completely exposed. Maybe if you were someone else you could do it, but there's no way YOU could keep all those balls in the air. Why can't you seem to get it together enough to get more done in your day? If you were a good mother, you'd be feeding Nora better meals that this, too. If you were competent, you'd be able to make jewelry and keep the house clean. You'd be absolutely mortified if someone walked in and saw this house in the state it's in right now. This is disgraceful...."

And on it goes...I've said this and much, much more to myself many, many times over the months. I would never, ever, ever in a million years, talk to someone like that. I wouldn't dream of treating someone else like that...EVER. So, why on earth am I doing it to myself??? Crazy, isn't it? Well, needless to say, I won't be doing it anymore, I will try anyway. I think it will be a process, but at least I'm more aware. Awareness is the key. It is the first step. You can't very well change something until you become conscious of it first. 

Listen to that inner voice, BUT please, make sure it's a KIND voice. 
Thank you.

I made myself this Chakra pendant inspired by my meditation practices.


  1. it's impossible to do it all. I don't think anyone can actually do everything. But we should just try to be our best and do bits of pieces of each thing to keep ourselves happy. I am sorry to hear you are going through this! I think meditation sounds wonderful and like a good solution! xo

  2. I always thought that I would grow out of things like this when I got older...nope...still here. Next time, try stopping and thinking of something that you feel you are doing "right" and see if it lifts your spirits!

  3. Your inner voice must be best friends with mine! I completely get you - I struggle with the exact same thing - Daily! Love your new pendant!

  4. I'm not sure what it is that pushes women, mostly, to feel that pressure to do it all. But it is good that you have identified that you are being harsh on yourself and even better that you've found meditation a way to guide yourself to healthy thinking. No we can not do it all. But I am sure there is much that you are doing very well. I think it is a lovely thing to have made yourself a special reminder to be kind to yourself.

  5. Oh Erin, I can so relate! I am going through this right now too. It's hard to do it all, and we do tend to beat ourselves up when we shouldn't. Good luck working through this, and I'll be thinking of you. The necklace is beautiful!

  6. Erin, I have been following your blog since last year, and you inspire me! I think we all have that inner voice that wants to make us feel down, but honestly people like you make people like me feel that we can pursue our dreams and make them real! Keep your head up and ignore the negativity!

  7. we all probably trash talk to ourselves in that manner, way more than we one can do it all..
    my dear friends advice to her daughter after the baby's birth,"hiring a housekeeper will keep peace in the family".. and it would be one less thing you have to worry about.
    love the necklace

  8. Oh Miss Erin! I think that you and I may be sharing the same brainwaves. I have found myself in a profound funk. I am unable or unwilling to go a step further, yet I feel that I should and that I will be letting others down if I don't. That feeling of missing the self-care is the one that hit me smack between the eyes. I have been neglecting myself and it isn't pretty, let me tell you. I do know that I can only do so much, and have to remind myself daily of that. It is hard to break that cycle, but awareness is the key. I am so used to encouraging others to find their creative centers, to inspire people to let go of their fears and move forward, but I am woefully bad at doing that for myself. Thank you for this post today, because you have helped me see something that I have been turning away from. Enjoy the day, Miss Erin!
    Erin (the other ;-)

  9. Thank you for your post! Really wonderful timing as I have been struggling with some of the same issues. I too feel that I lack good time management, I am glad that I am not alone. Your advice is excellent, good for you for taking charge of your emotions. Your words are inspiring!

  10. I wonder if it has been the year, or the time of year because I too have been struggling with these same feelings and I have been trying to figure out what has happened to make me feel so low this last number of months. I have shared it with a few others but I recently read this book talking about building an exceptional life. It is called You Can Create and Exceptional Life by Cheryl Richardson and Louise Hay. It offers many positive affirmations the one I love the best is that Life Loves Me!!!! I have been trying to tell myself this daily and be gentle and kind to myself. I love your necklace Erin I hope that it reminds you to be kind and gentle to yourself. We always seem to forget how important it is to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others.

    Much love,
    Penny ;)

  11. Your post is so timely. I've been having these types of conversations for a while now (too long actually!) and just had an out-loud conversation about this w/a close friend of mine.

    I've tried to meditate and just cannot quiet my mind - but it is an excellent tool when you can get your brain to quit 'trashing' you.!! :)

    I don't even want to get started on the time management thing,....oh boy!

    I wish you peace within yourself and hope you're able to find your 'zen'! Let me know your tips for doing this when you do!!

  12. Also, - I love your neklace - do you have another for sale, because I believe it's a 'best seller' from the sounds of the responses. I know I could use one!! ;)

  13. Congratulations on identifying that you've been doing that to yourself! I think it's something we all do...especially when we read blogs and hear of all the things other people are doing...we rarely give ourselves credit for what we have on our plates that they may not :)

  14. Thank you a million times for writing and posting this. It's something I've struggled with for ages. My mom died last year without learning how to be kind to herself so it was then that I vowed to redouble my efforts to change my self-talk. It takes time and dedicated practice but you will get there. Again, thank you for posting this. (((hugs)))

  15. Oh dear Erin I am sorry I missed this post. Your inner voice is not being pleasant and for that I am sorry. This happens when something so wonderful as children enter our lives. Yes you can still multi task, yes you can still function as a person but now your first thought is Nora. It may be hard to take on ventures other than family for a while but when you do get the moments to follow your creativity do it. These are critical years for Nora and they can be hard on you but as she gains independence you will see opportunities to take a moment or two for you. She will also inspire you. That voice is just trying to trip you. Don't let it but if it gets too hard to ignore see your doctor. Not that I am saying you need a pill to fix things but he or she may have some insite for you.

  16. Hi Erin, Yes everyone has that mostly negative inner dialogue . Mine used to be You"re fat and therefore stupid and no one will ever love you either! It's in our subconcious which meditation can clean out with practice. It took me years of meditating but now I love myself as a creation of the infinite creator.
    Anyone that's serious about meditating should look into Kundalini Meditation because it teaches you techniques that quiet the mind which is the main stumbling block for most people. Namaste'

  17. Hi Erin.

    I have been missing in action online lately and I just saw your post through Barbara Lewis' post at Crescendoh. I totally understand where you are coming from. It is difficult being a new Mom and running a business from home. When I first chose to stay home and leave a successful career, I emotionally struggled like crazy. It took me awhile to be comfortable with the fact that life is a balancing act and it is ok for everything to not be perfect all the time. There is a time and season for everything. I too tend to be an all or nothing kind of girl and won't accept less than "perfect" - whatever that is... It is so easy for creative people who work from home to obsess about things that when you look at them may not worth obsessing over. You are right - the first step is the acknowledgement and you are headed down the right path. It also helps to reach out and talk about it with others and I'd love to chat. I'll email you. Your jewelry has been so beautiful lately with your great photography. Take Care!


  18. Hi Erin, I stumbled on this necklace during another search. Do you sell your jewelry, and if so, do you make the Chakra Pendent?


  19. OMG I would definitely buy this if you were to ever make them. Love!



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